Today, I fired my first subscriber. Here's what happened:
First, some context:
I am a woman freelancer who sells time, so I'm quite careful about how I allow new clients, partners, or vendors to interact with me.
If you're also a woman business owner, you know exactly why, but for everyone else:
Multiple studies (and most of our anecdotal experiences) have found that women are asked to do more work for free, are asked for more favors, and our time is generally valued less than men’s.
When I first started my business, I found myself back-to-back in meetings with people asking to "pick my brain"
Or other service providers asking to "be helpful to my clients" (aka. pls give me work).
In order to protect my calendar from this onslaught, I set up strict channels for engaging each:
"Pick my brain" is reserved for friends and underrepresented founders only if I have extra downtime - otherwise, I'd have no brain left.
Networking is reserved for events, referrals, and folks with great content - it's the best signal to noise ratio.
Only new clients get a special 15-minute book-for-free link - and it forces you to check a box confirming this is why we're meeting.
And there's an option to point-and-click buy a consulting session with me if you know you need immediate help.
Ever since making these channels clear, I've had MUCH less time wasted and MUCH more productive interactions with everyone.
It leaves me the energy to show up with top performance on each call.
I've become a better consultant because of these boundaries.
But then every so often, someone slips through the cracks...
I'll roll up to a confirmed client call, and it's actually someone selling their services.
This one time when a prominent creator asked to connect about a collaboration, only to use the call as a free consulting session and then stole my IP and posted it as his own 😬
I once even had an older gentleman actually pay for a consulting session whose first words were "I just wanted to meet you but I saw there was no way to do that other than pay." And then look at me like I'd done something wrong... Predictably, he had nothing productive to share and was offended when I offered him advice on finding clients instead of saying I'd refer him mine :)
But here's the thing:
As a woman leader, it can also be challenging to push back in these moments.
There is a HUGE potential for backlash for inviting direct conflict -
Anything from reputational risk to literal physical threat.
So I most times just roll over and let it slide.
What's the harm in one wasted hour of time?
But this morning, I found the courage.
A guy booked a meeting using my 10-minute new client link
The earliest slot available in the morning
He didn't bother to reply to my assistant's meeting confirmation email
And he showed up, asked a few questions about how my business was doing, mentioned he subscribes but doesn't read this newsletter, then launched into his pitch.
Insurance, personal tax optimization... etc.
This time, I stopped him.
Shaking (because it felt incredibly uncomfortable), I said,
"Sorry - this booking link is for new clients who want to explore working together. There is even a disclosure checkbox you clicked confirming that you understood this. Do you need my services?"
He said, No - I'm hoping I could be useful to you or your friends and clients.
And I responded, "This is an inappropriate channel for you to pitch your services. I'm going to save us both 10 minutes and end the call now."
And then, I hung up.
And I blocked this person on the newsletter and on LinkedIn.
Okay, now the big thing: WHY am I sharing this?
Because of 2 bets:
1) Many of the men reading this note will think this story is pointless: How could I, as an adult business owner, have any fear about saying no to a random dude pitching services on the wrong channel?
2) Many women reading this note will find this interaction inspiring. A reminder. That you're allowed to hold your boundaries. That you can call people out for wasting your time. That you get to decide who gets to be in your circle and who gets kicked out.
Men and women founders live in two very different worlds.
Enjoyed reading this article? Subscribe to receive more via email here.
Know a Founder or Entrepreneur who'd love this content? Please share it!
